"Your English Is Very Good!"

I was sticking with French for 16 years before I started learning English and decided to come to the US. Two years and a month ago, I arrived to LAX airport. I was all by myself, nervous, yet excited about my new adventure in this country. I started my internship in hotel management at the front desk of two Best Western hotels up in Bryce Canyon two days after my arrival. From the first day at work, I received a bunch of common questions that people ask a foreigner: Where are you from? Do you have any relative here? Did you study English before you came here? ... And they all ended up with "your English is very good!" I was happy hearing that. Soon after, I feel sick of those questions. 90% of my customers asked me the same thing over and over again; and when it comes to "your English is very good", I raised my eyebrows...

For a while, I was wondering why I feel uncomfortable whenever an English speaker tells me "your English is very good." Why I'm not happy receiving a compliment? 

So at first, I was convincing myself that I know my English is not that good, that's why I feel like I don't deserve that compliment. I started studying English 3 years ago and there are still so many things about English that I don't know. Two years ago when I started receiving that compliment, my English was even horrible. But that feeling I have was not shame of something I'm not entitled to. My feeling was more somewhere in between annoyed and mad. 

Long later, I was working with a girl, her name is McKenna, and she was trying to say something in Vietnamese, just for fun. She sounds like a baby who first learned how to speak, which I mean you understand what the baby says because you know the word, not because the baby pronounce it right. When McKenna finished the sentence, she asked me: "Did I say it right?" I was like: "Oh my goodness you sound like a Vietnamese! I bet you will be very good at learning my language!" Then she asked me again: "Really? Are you serious?" I said with no hesitation: "Yes I am! Whhat you just said in Vietnamese sounded perfect!" Right at that moment, the light bulb went off in my head. I found the answer!

What I did to McKenna was exactly what people have been doing to me whenever I talk to them for the first time. This is a logical thought that, back then, I didn't know how to name it, but I understood it. This is the feeling when you listen to a foreigner who speaks y-o-u-r-l-a-n-g-u-a-g-e. The feeling can be different among people. It can be surprising, interesting, appreciating... etc.; however, it can also be amusing or pitiful.

This is a "non-American" stereotype that I figured out myself. I also have proven it by asking a bunch of my American friends and they all admitted it: Asian/non-American girl in the US => She is a foreigner => English is not her first language + I met a lot of non-American people who live in the US and don't speak English very well => She might not know how to speak English properly.

                                          Here is a fun video that reflects exactly my struggle :)

So... when that non-American stereotype doesn't work because that person you are judging actually know how to speak English well, your first thought will be "Oh her/his English is very good". This is what annoys me. Because I know the "good" that they are talking about is not a good compared to a native English speaker. This is a good compared to the other non native English speaker. I have to admit that there is nothing wrong with that stereotype, and people didn't mean anything other than " oh she speaks good English." But for a very competitive person like me, this is an unacceptable lower level of  good. 

Anyways, let's go back to the feeling when you listen to a foreigner who speaks your language. I knew it was a normal social phenomenon but I coudn't find the right definition and right name for it, until this week when I learned about Perceptual Process. Eureka! I finally found the name for it. When an American talk to me for the first time, the whole process in his/her mind until the point he/she says: "Your English is very good!" is one of a thousand, million, or even billion perceptual processes that a person makes everyday. I seriously feel so relieved finding the answer after two years. 

I've been doing receptionist for a beauty salon for the last 3 months. Every single day, I receive more than 10 "Your English is Very Good!" that still annoys me so much; and I can't do anything with that. However, the competitive me is trying so hard to get out of that low level of good. maybe until the point that people ask me "Were you born here?" I really am trying to reach that goal. :)